Reply to I am feeling resentful and jealous, but mostly RESENTFUL.

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Reply to "I am feeling resentful and jealous, but mostly RESENTFUL."

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[quote=Anonymous]This trip aside, I think you need to find an arrangement that works for both of you.

You are making a huge sacrifice to care for his mother. I think finding a caregiver that can offer you relief for daily things and for larger things like family vacations would be beneficial for everyone. Resentment just builds so I would try to find a solution before it gets beyond you.

I would look for a caregiver, not for this trip, but to have around some days depending on what works with your financial and family schedule. Maybe someone can come 2 days a week to help so she gets to know them and used to them and for the first few months always while you are home. This gives you the opportunity to consider family vacations down the road, breaks for yourself, etc.
Obviously, your DH isn't receptive to this idea but you need to calmly explain why this is important for you. Asking you to take full time care of an infant, toddler and elderly dementia patient is a lot to ask of anyone. It's hard to tell from your post but it doesn't sound like your DH appreciates how much he is asking of you and how much you are taking on. A part time caregiver is a wonderful compromise.
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