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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We had friends over for lunch and the kids were playing in the basement (ages 2-7) and it was the 7 year old that TRASHEd the basement.  She took paint out and smeared it all over the art table and floor, dumped bins of toys out for no reason, took a kite and wrapped it around the entire house in and out of branches, etc. She also took a bunch of art supplies outside.

The dad was single parenting and we didn't realize how bad it was until they left, but I was furious.  I don't think I will invite them again, even though I really like the parents and the sisters. [/quote]

How does a 7 year old go outside and do this and nobody notices?

You are being awfully punitive here, especially since you like these people. And since there's a single father, I expect there's a story here and some real challenges. I would say the same about a single mother. He was probably so grateful to be able to sit and talk with adults while his kids were engaged. Plus 7 years old? [b]I did some really stupid stuff when I was that age, its really young[/b]. Too young to write off the whole family, especially a family with challenges.

[/quote]

I was an easily excitable kid. I can clearly remember two times when I was the instigator for creating stupid kid messes in other people's houses. I also remember how awful it felt when someone else was the instigator in my house, and I knew I'd get in trouble for the mess.

If you like the family, give them a second chance, but with boundaries. (Invite them over when you can play outside/at a park, pre-select toys that can be played with, and everything else is off-limits, check in with the kids more often) 7, and even 9 year old kids do lots of stupid things, but it doesn't mean they will always do stupid things, especially if given guidelines on how to behave differently.

Or write the family off if you don't want to put in the effort. I don't think there's any shame in that, but do it knowing that you might be losing out on a good friendship over a one-time, out-of-control situation. [/quote]

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