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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP-- i may be an outlier here but I think it is worth recalling that many of these diagnoses are highly subjective. ADHD is diagnosed based on a cluster of behaviors; the signs and symptoms of what we call ADHD, "slow processing speed," anxiety, some mild LDs can all be pretty similar, and even for extremely experienced testers it is often a judgment call. The "correct" diagnosis is whichever one leads to interventions that are helpful. So I would not focus so much on labels: you may need a label to get an IEP or meds, but remember that there is more subjectivity than you might think in those labels.

Also remember: labels notwithstanding, something is only a problem if it's a problem. If you DD is happy and successful, who cares if a tester might label her as ADHD-inattentive? If she is unhappy about how long things take her, there may be many behavior interventions and meds that would help, but I'd be wary of pathologizing her behavior. Some people work faster than others: if it doesn't bother her, so what?

- Spouse of a shrink who does neuropsych testing for kids, and mother of one kid who was diagnosed with ADHD who is bright but struggles in school, and another kid who probably could be diagnosed with ADHD but who does fine and is happy....[/quote]

I'm OP and I really appreciate your post.  To be perfectly honest, right now, I'm probably not going to do anything (including taking her to a neuropshych).  She is okay for now and is not too bothered by how long things take her (DH and I are the ones who are driven crazy by her behavior), but she is bothered that she doesn't have time for friends.[b] None of this is a critical mass situation right now, but things seem to have gotten worse over the past year and I am worried that things may get much worse in HS next year[/b].  [b]My biggest fear is letting the situation go too long and that if the situation does hit critical mass - having it be too late to get the IEP or whatever intervention we need to get accommodations that will help her work to her potential.[/b]  I'd love for people to tell me to relax and just let it go.[/quote]

I'm a PP with a 12-year old DD with ADHD. 
Don't relax, don't wait. It will get worse if she doesn't at least intervention on learning more effective coping skills. I'm now accepting that I have to be so vigilant because you have to be prepared for that critical mass, and the next one, and the next one. Can't just put it on auto pilot like I can with my other kid. We specifically got her 504 in elementary school because we were told by a few different sources that it gets harder to get it in middle school. Our elementary school didn't support the testing (the county wasn't going to pay for the tests) but they were fully supportive after we got the diagnosis.  I see bad stories in this forum regarding getting IEPs. Our experience was very pleasant and being able to go into middle school with he information that we had was very helpful.

Your daughter may appear "okay" but you won't know what it's doing to her self-esteem. You are only seeing what's on the surface. People with ADHD usually this eternally-running script of negativity. Your daughter is probably telling herself daily that "I am slow, therefore I am stupid, therefore, no one will want to be friends with me". You just don't know what distorted connections are being hard wired by her brain and as a parent, you'll need to be versed with how your child's thinks. There is a pattern.

I do agree with the PP that said these are subjective but you also have to take into consideration the other challenges that your daughter is having- like not being able to form friendships. Sure she doesn't have the time now but she isn't going to have more time later either. She's losing this time now in her social development.

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