Reply to Frustrated with folks who never reciprocate dinner invites

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again.

To those who have explained the perspective of why people don't entertain, thank you.

If you can not invite people back (for whatever reason) other gestures are appreciated. A mailed thank you note. Offering a ride to the airport. Bringing over something from your garden. Babysitting. Whatever you can afford with your time and money. I think too often people think that others don't care about these manners and etiquette. I think people do care and they do notice when it's not done.

[/quote]

I'm wondering if you appreciate how this sounds, because it sounds an awful lot like you just said people owe you favors because you invited them over to your house. An invitation shouldn't come with these kinds of expectations. Now that you've laid out what you do expect, I wonder if you really would be satisfied if they invited you to join them at a restaurant with everyone paying their own way, even if that is what fit their means.[/quote]

I am not Indian, and I agree with OP that gestures of hospitality should be returned in some way.  I think OP's point is less about "owing favors" than it is about gracious behavior - acknowledging the pleasure of experiencing a dinner party with a return gesture of some kind.  Repeated "thank yous" eventually feel meaningless to a host who is looking for a give-and-take friendship/relationship.

OP, I too like to host, and we do so pretty frequently.  It annoys me when people we have had at our house for dinner repeatedly do not do anything at all to reciprocate.  Over time it makes me feel used and unappreciated, so I do not invite them back.[/quote]

"Over time it makes me feel used and unappreciated, so I do not invite them back."

Problem solved!

[/quote]

Indeed the problem is solved. Recently a friend who I had over several times and never once reciprocated was complaining to me that no one ever calls her over any more or makes an effort with her.  I didn't say anything but I really could not believe that someone would think she never needs to return the effort of being a friend.[/quote]

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