Reply to s/o the s/o thread... On the "outsourcing" of sex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]TBH, going to an open marriage saved my marriage.

Sex is difficult for me due to some physical and emotional issues. So allowing him to outsource that has removed the resentment of him not getting it and the resentment of him always asking me for it.

We have a strong marraige despite that issue. [/quote]

So when you agreed to an open marriage, did you stop working on your physical and emotional issues?[/quote]

Not much I can do about the physical stuff.

A lot of my emotional baggage stemmed from the fact that I was unable to have sex with my DH in the way that I wanted. Despite his undying support, I felt guilt and that permeated the rest of our marriage.  I have seen therapists for years - but taking sex off the table has eased my guilt and decreased the resentment. [/quote]

So how is your marriage stronger than your friendships with other men if you're not having sex with your husband? I have many close male friendships but the physical intimacy is one of the major differences.[/quote]

TBH - I am not sure how to answer that.  I am physically unable to engage in intercourse due to medical issues.  Do I do other things to him?  Of course.

Well, physical intimacy is one part of a marriage but if it is not available through no one's fault and you love that person enough to stay married, you adjust. Honestly, my DH and have a strong relationship without the sex.  I have told him that he could leave many times but he has always said no.  The open marriage was MY idea.  I just do not think that my physical issues should mean a life of celibacy for him.  You read on DCUM the issues that couples have with the lack of sex on here and how it creates resentment among the couples.  We don't have that anymore.  [/quote]

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