Reply to If your spouse has become a 'roommate' and you are just friends...

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[quote=Anonymous]If OP and spouse are both generally fond of each other, are both motivated to make it work, but don't know how to be attracted to each other, you might take a look at Athol Kay's "Mindful Attraction Plan."

http://www.amazon.com/The-Mindful-Attraction-Plan-Practical-ebook/dp/B00DINECUU

It's a fairly practical approach. From the description:

"Most threats of ending relationships in hope of change, fail because of extremely poor timing. The MAP covers the pacing of the escalation toward the Resolution Point. Most serious attempts to change things happen in the heat of the moment, which is typically a negative emotion blowout and ineffective. The MAP keeps things calm and steady in the hope that your partner starts acting like a reasonable person and the relationship can start turning positive.

The first part of the book is a very clear description of exactly how you become more attractive as fast as possible. Covering six areas of development you need to focus on:

(1) Physical Fitness and Health
(2) Money and Material Possessions
(3) Displays of High Value
(4) Building Relationship Comfort
(5) Personality and Preferences
(6) High-Energy Sex"

What I like about Kay's approach is that it's mostly about making yourself a better person. So, even where the relationship turns out not to be salvageable, the work you've done improves your chances of being successful in the next relationship or in life generally.

Good luck OP. Your posts are very sad, and I hope things turn around for you and your husband.

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