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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's clear that there is a big divide on how people view sex. There is a group that sees sex as something a couple does with one another because sex with each other is good. [b]And there's a group that sees sex as a reward one spouse (usually the wife) controls and doles out to the other. [/b]

If you don't want to have sex, then don't. Simple as that. If not wanting to have sex is the norm for you most days of the week, then it's a problem, and you should take it upon yourself to look for ways to fix that problem. And if you don't take steps to fix a problem in the marriage that you are causing, don't be surprised when your marriage deteriorates and don't blame it on the other person.[/quote]

Bullshit. There's no controlling and doling out. Each partner is in control of their own body. If they're not interested, whatever the reason, they are no under obligation to engage in sex. And the other person should be mature enough to respect that.

Also, I don't think it would be much fun to have sex with an uninterested partner. And it would feel too close to forcing myself on someone for me to be comfortable with the idea.[/quote]

You're delusional if you don't think there is a cultural expectation that more than a few people buy into that sex is something the woman gives for good behavior and the man earns for good behavior.

That said, you're right that sex isn't fun with an uninterested partner. It's just a particularly sad form of masturbation. But, if one spouse is uninterested more often than not, it's a problem for the marriage. The interested spouse is usually motivated to look for solutions. All too often, the uninterested spouse doesn't recognize it as their problem too.  [/quote]

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