Reply to Vent. I'm a slave.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So basically you want him to do 100% of his job AND 50% of your job as well. And you seriously think this is fair and reasonable. Get over yourself already and DO YOUR JOB.[/quote]

Oh so she is suppose to work 7 days a week? While he has two days off? When does she get a break?[/quote]

Exactly.  A SAHM means that she does the work that needs to be done at home while DH is at work. [b] So let's say he's gone 8am-6pm every day.  Those are her working hours too, Mon-Friday.[/b]  ANYTHING that falls outside of those working hours (dinner, nighttime wakeups, illness, weekends) are SPLIT evenly between the two parents.  This is not that hard to understand.  It's called being a parent and a homeowner.

OP, I'm sorry, this sounds shitty.  My advice would be to bring it up to him in a non-charged moment.  Pick a calm time and just say you'd like to talk to him.  Explain you feel taken advantage of.  Use the cleaning up after dinner example.  Ask him how you can work together to make sure everything gets done.  He most likely has NO IDEA how much stuff you do.  Write out a list.  Show him what you spend your time doing during the day as part of your "job" and make it clear that there's stuff you guys have to split.  Hopefully he's receptive and not defensive.  If he's defensive try to keep things calm.  Try not to criticize and make it sound like a team effort.  "What can WE do together to make things run smoothly".  That kind of thing.  It might take several conversations, but the key is to STAY CALM.[/quote]

But why isn't dinner one of those things that can be done during the day?  I was on maternity leave with a 3 year old and a newborn.  After the first crazy month or so, I just cooked dinner during a nap and the kitchen was generally clean by dinnertime.  I am back to work now, and I do all the cooking on the weekend, generally it's just loading the dishwasher during the week.  If you're home all day, You should be able to cook and clean up from making dinner during the day at least some days(barring some special needs or other commitments). After dinner cleanup shouldn't be more than putting plates in the dishwasher and wiping the table off.   I can see splitting bedtime, but if her "work hours" are 8-6 why shouldn't laundry and cooking get done in that time? [/quote]

For one, we aren't home all day.  My kids and I would go nuts. And my three year old doesn't nap. But really, who wants reheated food everyday?  Did you microwave everything at dinner time?  Reheating on the stove would create dirty pans and pots again, but some things just aren't good in the microwave. We use the crockpot a good deal, so prep is all done and cleaned up from, but there is still the crock to clean. When I prep in advance I do clean what I used but it only gets you so far.

All this is beside the real point. My spouse is a grown up who completes agreed upon tasks. Agreeing to dive up the work on the evening and not following through on a reasonable manner is kid stuff. My seven year old might get away with it, not my spouse. 
You know, like when my spouse asks me to ship a package for him, I actually take it to i ups and send it off. I don't put it in my car and call it done. Mostly because I'm not an ass. 
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