Reply to My husband discusses me in an unflattering way with his happy hour female coworker

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[quote=Anonymous]OP says:  Does it matter if its an affair or an EA?  It would both feel the same to me.   I asked him directly if he would show me his phone.  I'm not going to sneak behind his back.  He had already wiped it from all data.

Actually what has me flipped is I really had no clue that he didn't think things were going well or at least normal.  The negative picture given to to this lady from work bothers me because its very different from my perception. I understand people need to vent, I don't think work is the place to do it.  I am actually not sure that he speaks this way to everyone at work, and I'm not about to take a survey.

I would be more flipped about trusting him and finding out I was lied to. I have never been a person who felt I had to check up on or spy on my spouse, and I felt that he would be truthful and faithful.  Maybe it would just make me sad.

It's clear that Somethings off.  I don't know what to do to even try to begin to fix this.

Right now my position is:  if DH wasn't clear enough about my expectations of minimal loyalty and really didn't know not to trash me at work, now I've requested it to stop along with the happy hours with this lady.

DH is saying the one with the problem is me.

What's the next step?[/quote]

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