Reply to My husband discusses me in an unflattering way with his happy hour female coworker

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]From OP:  I found out because he didn't come home when he said - he said he was coming home for dinner around 5.  I texted him, no reply at around 8:30.  About 9:30 still no word.  He has heart problems so I'm getting worried.  I go into our phone bill online and I see hundreds of text messages between my husband and this number.  I call the number.  It's this woman's voice mail.  i see on the computer an immediate call going to my husband.  then my husband calls me and orders me not to speak with her.  i said to my husband, she had better speak to me now.  She calls me.  she starts weeping and saying I'm not a bad person, I'm not a bad person."  I said what's going on?  She replies DH is a dear friend.  I asked what does that mean?  Then she spills that he confides in her.  I said like what?  And she goes on about the things in the original post and swears that they are just friends.  So, since I'm getting only denials, I'm dealing with what I know are facts - that he trashes me when he's out with this woman.  He says he was ignorant that it's an unspoken boundary - that no one knows that you shouldn't go around trashing your wife, that I don't socialize much and this is normal behavior.[/quote]

To me - the fact that you called her and that resulted in an immediate call from her to your DH and then from your DH to you ordering you not to speak followed by an immediate call from her to you when you demanded to speak -- suggest that something is up. Coworkers who are truly just friends don't do that -- frankly they would look at your number and ignore it bc they'd have know idea that it's co-worker Steve's wife calling. This chain of events plus her saying she isn't a bad person suggests that even if nothing physical has happened yet, they both know they're doing something wrong. And the fact that he was going to be home at 5 but was out with her until 8-9 pm gives them a lot of time together. Maybe right now it is just talk, but with 4 hrs to kill after work - how easy would it be to go back to her place for a while before heading home?[/quote]

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