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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I hate to bring it up, but what would happen if she passes away? Do you need the few resources you have to travel for a funeral, or arrange her affairs?

Of course you'd rather spend the money to see her alive, but practically speaking...

I don't think you'll get much of a reasoned response here. Most of the people on this board seem to know nothing about what it's like to scrape by, with credit cards virtually maxed.[/quote]

OP here. Exactly what I was thinking. If I go now, and she passes away, I won't be able to go back.

To answer some of the questions, it wouldn't be good for my well being to be away from my DD. Her dad and I are not together and he has never taken her for more than a night, never wanted to. And it would be good for everyone's morale and my mother's health to see her. Flights are around $375 for each of us. There is no one to drive us around, so car is necessary. We would stay somewhere cheap, like $80 a night, maybe I could get something for less online. Still, that's more than $1200, without food. I could probably save enough to get us there over the summer. But my heart wants to go NOW.

My brothers are paying rent for my aunt, where Mom used to live, so they're tapped out. Their apartment is not an option either, sadly, they're hoarders and it's disgusting. Thanks much for trying to think of options with me. [/quote]

Yes, it is much better for you to wait until she dies and then go back for the funeral instead of seeing her while she is alive.
Sorry to be snarky, but I was in this exact situation with my dad, and so was my brother.  I chose to go see my dad and spent time with him while I could.  My brother chose to go back after he passed away and deliver the eulogy and act like he was the "good son".  I can sleep at night knowing that I did what was good for my dad.  I hope you do right by your mother.[/quote]

Maybe your brother knew that it would be important to get back to be there for your mom and to show proper respect for his dad at the funeral?  Maybe he thought that he was doing what your dad would have wanted him to do?  Everyone grieves differently, Op.  And if he had other obligations maybe that was the best he could do at the time.

It was good that you were able to be there for your dad.[/quote]

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