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Reply to "What to do about sister's destination wedding"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]If your sister didn't consult you about location and price before booking I think it's really inconsiderate and presumptuous of her. At the very least she should offer to pay for the kids[/quote] No, she didn't consult me, but I would feel strange if she paid for the kids - she doesn't earn much money, though her fiance does. I would feel strange for him to pay for my kids to attend, because even though he's nice, I just don't know him that well. [/quote] I write that you quoted above. I totally understand the strangeness, but here's the thing: you are at a crossroads here. You are either going to be closer to your sister's new family or more distant from your sister's new family after this wedding. If she treasures your nieces and it is important to her for them to be there, she is saying she wants you all to be closer to her and her new husband. He will be their uncle. It is their money together now. If my now-DH wanted me to pay for one of his family members to be at our wedding, I wouldn't have hesitated. This guy is going to be your brother in law. He might be delighted for the chance to bring the kids along. (I am assuming good intentions on your sister and mom's parts - that they love the children and want them there so the whole family can celebrate together, not that they primarily care about surface things like having the kids as cute trophies in pics. I'm assuming lots of good intentions on all your parts. If your sister is just a shallow, self-centered Bridezilla who cares only about appearances, or someone who treats you poorly in general, feel free to disregard.) I don't know if this is your only sister or how big your family is, but personally I would hate for my child to miss out on the experience of the wedding of a close family member. My only sibling is married, as are my DH's siblings, and getting to go to the wedding of your mom's sister is pretty special. They will be forever a part of her new family's history. I remember looking at my mom's wedding album and seeing my much-older cousins at their wedding as little kids all dressed up, and it was so cool. I was jealous I couldn't have been there too. When they visit now in their 50's, they love to see them selves in my parents' framed wedding photo. (My oldest cousin has an 8 year old granddaughter who loves to see her Pop in his bow tie in the pic.) This is what family history is made of. Again, I think your sister should have planned better and been more generous. But I'd consider at least telling your mom you would bring the girls if it weren't so expensive, and seeing if they take the hint. And if not I would still take them if you can do so without incurring debt. It's your sister.[/quote]
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