Reply to Risking kids life custody agreement language.

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Reply to "Risking kids life custody agreement language."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't believe OP's story. Her first post is about fearing for her kid's safety from blizzard driving. Now, the ex kills in order to avoid child support and she was once in fear of of him killing here upon learning she was pregnant.

Yet, he apparently has unsupervised visits with his kid.

It just doesn't add up.[/quote]

And. My ncp does not have unsupervised visits.[/quote]

Then why the hell are you worried he will do something that causes the death of your child? [/quote]

+100

[/quote]

He wants them -  my request for language for agreement[/quote]

if your court agreement made you the CP and provided for unsupervised visits, he would need to file to change the order.  Unless there was language in the original order saying that if the NCP did X, Y and Z, unsupervised visits would end -- in that case you would be the one to file to show why the previous court order ending supervised visitation should be overturned.  Who is supervising the visits?  If it's an unreliable Granny or other relative is that someone you can talk to calmly to end the specific practices you're concerned about.

Mixing money and positing the child's death really makes you look bad.  I understand you want him to understand there will be consequences to the child's death, because you think it will stop him from taking the risk since you believe money is important to him.  But, I can tell you, that if a person can't understand the normal risk/consequences in a situation, then having the threat of continued child support absent the child isn't something that will affect his behavior.  People like this usually either can't predict consequences or their risk or don't care how the consequences will make them and others feel.

If you have documentation about unsafe practices, maybe you can get the supervisor of the visits changed.

But, you have to be aware that if it becomes apparent that no one but you or someone you designate is "fit" enough to take the child, then the people will perceive that the problem is you.

I have an unpredictable/unsafe ex, and one thing I have learned is that it is better to kill them with kindness.  Never complain when the fail to meet a child obligation, just shoulder the job yourself and keep going.  Soon enough their desire to have "fun" will overwhelm their desire to screw you by taking the child for visitation.  When they start to come late, leave early, skip days, don't tell them they're terrible fathers.  Just smile and say OK.  If you need to protect a job, arrange to have a backup friend or neighbor  in these situations.  Soon enough you will have the vast majority of the time with DC.

Everytime you try to explain to them why they're being irresponsible, they realize it's the one way they can really upset/provoke you and they continue.

I know it's scary to leave a child with such an irresponsible parent, but you have to realize that the odds of a drowning death or car accident that seriously injures your child are not that great, even with irresponsible behavior.  By 5, your kid will be able to protect themselves somewhat, by 8 even more so and by 10, they can really start to refuse to do stuff and they can carry a phone to text or call you.

Sorrry, I know this is a scary time for you. [/quote]

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