Reply to MIL staying with us and keeps checking mail. annoying the mess out of me.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry for not explaining better, the key and code also access our building door and apartment so she has both to get in and out, can't really take either away from her. I am sure she thinks its helpful but sometimes she will watch me come in and go back down and then wait for me to come all the way back up to tell me she already got the mail. Its just frustrating me. I pay money for my magazines and she's thrown them away twice now. I have no idea what else is being tossed. I also don't like the idea of her going through the mail with bills and personal stuff. Just adjusting I guess. I would love a MIL who cleaned and organized. Would be helpful. this one just seems to go through everything. [/quote]

After your husband - him, not you! -- tells her thanks for trying to help but stop doing this:

Consider that she's bored and wants something to DO in the household. Find her something that she can make her own and be sure that YOU will not come to see that as annoying too. Be enthusiastic and upbeat about whatever you and your husband and she decide is "her" occupation in the home. Maybe she would love to cook the weekend meals so you don't have to. Maybe you hate her cooking and being in the kitchen, so give her the laundry to do. If you are picky about how laundry gets done, find something else. But find something.

If you can't be direct and simple with her about something as basic as "please do not pick up the mail" -- how are you going to cope with her living in your space 24/7 for the future? Sounds like you and your husband need to find his mom some groups to join or things to do outside the house each day or several times a week, as well as daily chores she would like to do. People need to feel needed and helpful. She may be having difficulty adjusting to living with you just as you're having difficulty adjusting to having her there. Make sure she can feel needed when at home, and do get her some activity outside home too.[/quote]

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