Reply to DH sobered up, I'm contemplating an EA, advice?

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Reply to "DH sobered up, I'm contemplating an EA, advice?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I've known a woman who went down the road of the affair once her husband was finally in recovery from drug addiction. She had stood by him for years, and at this point something in her kind of cracked. It was like they didn't know how to go forward together in a new way, in a healthy way where she wasn't his caretaker, and they also didn't have a way for each of them to process her years of anger and pain. Guilt on his side, anger and resentment on hers. They ended up divorcing in a rather ugly way. Yet years later they have become best friends. Their kids suffered so much.

I hope you have good luck with your couples therapist. You both need the help to look at yourselves now that the addictive acting out is on hold. Now you look at what's underlying, what causes it, and your interactions. You have to have patience, and he has to be sincere and work hard. Don't sabotage yourselves. You need a healthy way to process all the anger, pain, damage, and fear you've experienced dealing with his addiction and his behaviors.

At this point, you would probably both benefit from AA and Al-Anon, respectively.

I'm working through this kind of thing with my partner, and it's slow going. [/quote]

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