Reply to DH sobered up, I'm contemplating an EA, advice?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

So, it was definitely more than harmless fantasy, which is why I chimed originally to respond to OP.  It consumed me for a while.  Maybe only because he's unattainable (not gay, but married, high profile and not likely to take the risk), but it was way more intense than any crush/fantasy I've had before.  Possibly just that I'm in my early 40s and about a year and a half out of a 5 year period of either being pregnant or nursing, so maybe my hormones are just going wild.  But I went through all the same rationalizations as OP- this would make me feel better, DH doesn't give me what I need, he sort of deserves it for sneaking around on me, etc."  And during that time if the OM had appeared in my office door and tried to seduce me I would have been a goner, no question.  At any rate, I have put aside the rationalizations and realized that doing it would surely make fixing my marriage far more difficult, if not impossible.  So I'm giving the marriage a try, but if we cant get to a place where I feel reasonably satisfied (sexually and otherwise) I guess I'll need to move on.  I'm depressed at the thought of never having great sex again (there go those 40YO hormones!) but the rest of it matters too.  And yes, DH is going to hear some of this, although maybe not the detail of who we're talking about [b]and what he did to me in my fantasies[/b] :twisted: [/quote]

PP here - Uh, there's a separate board for that....   :)   Backing up though, are those things DH did to you?  Or, if not, things you would want him to do?  Does he know that?  If so, maybe mention it again?  If not, mention for the first time?  Maybe mentioning it ruins the fantasy?  Or is it more of a being swept off your feet by the unknown, so it wouldn't work for DH?  Can't fix that.  Maybe you're worried he'd recoil at what the things you want are?  Hard to fix that, OTOH, DH could be interested....  And, in the meantime, you can share with us!   :twisted:

Good luck in counseling.  [/quote]

PP again, I meant to add, more seriously, that if it was more than harmless fantasy and you're in counseling with DH, maybe stay away from OM as much as possible?  Maybe a reason to share who it was with DH if it keeps you honest, although sounds like you've made your peace with it/OM.[/quote]

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