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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. This thread was actually helpful. Thanks. 
by writing this and reading the responses i came to realize that my sister criticizing the screentime really annoyed the shit out of me and was one of the big factors making me resentful. And that is just stupid. I should just ignore her. He's a tremendously smart straight A student and is very active in sports - some iPad time in a group house of small kids is fine, and she should shut up. 
I am thinking I will go for most of the week, maybe Tuesday night so I can work Monday and Tuesday, and bring the 3 and 7 year olds, who really get the most out of the cousin time. Then I will see if I can convince DH to come Thursday-Saturday with the other 2 kids to join us. 
There is a sports camp that week the 11 year old wants to do - for his favorite sport, that he tries very hard to excel at. (He's super smart but not super naturally athletic - but he tries really hard, and that is one of the reasons the camp is important) 
The family will certainly balk at this camp taking precedence over the beach week - but they have small kids so they just don't get it. 
So I will just ignore. 
Thanks all!
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