Reply to I feel bad that my child is not gifted

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[quote=Anonymous]I wasn't staying home to make my kids smarter -- but in my particular fantasy, I apparently wanted to be staying home with someone else's kids, probably the Tiger Mom's.  It's more fun to do Suzuki violin if your kid learns fast and plays well.  It's more fun to do kiddie sports if your kid is good and wins trophies - as opposed to having a kid that warms the bench and who nobody wants on their team.  It's more fun to do Kumon with a kid who loves worksheets and learning and math!  It's more fun to take a kid to chess club if occasionally they win.

And yes, I know, someone else is taking a child to speech therapy or physical therapy or something else -- and you should just be glad they're healthy. But I think it's human nature to think that if you're going to pay for music lessons, it would be nice if the child learned quickly to play well.  Heck, it's nice when you pay money for nice groceries and the kids actually eat the food rather than whining about it and complaining.

I think that maybe what the OP is struggling with is that parenting isn't always all that rewarding, but that having a kid who is really good at something is a sort of reward.  And if you were the kind of person who was good at their professional job, who got promoted and paid well, etc.  it's hard not to feel like you've failed when you stay home and it doesn't appear to be making a difference.  I know that for me it was hard to watch my husband advance in his career when I had apparently ended mine, and it was hard to not feel like having a kid advance would be a good substitute.[/quote]

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