Reply to I feel bad that my child is not gifted

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I completely empathize, OP.  I remember feeling exactly the same way that you did after giving up my career to stay home with kids.  It's hard not to expect that there will be a payoff.  On some level, I could justify giving up my career to raise a genius, but if the kid was going to get C's, that to me seemed like a kind of half-assed "project" to spend my life on.  Yes, I am shallow.

Ultimately, I went back to work and stopped putting all my ego and all my energy into my kids.  It wasn't fair to them or to me for me to expect their accomplishments to be my reward for sacrificing my career.  My kids are older now and they will all go to college, and will hopefully be self-supporting, and it all worked out -- but I remember casting around when they were six and seven and thinking, "There's so many parenting books out here but not a single one that really deals with the mom's emotions and this particular challenge."

Clearly the OP is not the only one who thinks this way or struggles with this.  That was kind of the point of the Tiger Mom's book -- she was struggling with whether or not ultimately you are in control of your kid's accomplishments and whether or no you can engineer it.  [/quote]

Picking up on the ego theme, is that really it?  Are you embarrassed for producing an average child?  Does it reflect badly on you?  I see a lot of bio parents refusing to acknowledge that their kids have special needs because they won't admit they could have produced such a child.

As adoptive parents, DH and I feel fortunate to be free of such thoughts.  We accept our kid for who he is and just push forward, doing everything we can to help him.[/quote]

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