Reply to I am a lesbian in a same-sex marriage raising my 'nuclear family' AMA

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you have more straight friends or gay friends? When events say mommy and me or father daughter whatever - how do you and your spouse approach this? Meaning do one of you place a particular parental role that falls in line with the old fashioned definition mom/dad roles? Does it ever bother you that there is a father/daughter or father/son event that you would want to go to but may feel excluded because of the wording? How do you feel when you hear the term gay or same sex marriage would you rather marriage just be defined as marriage? Have you ever encountered negative comments because of your sexuality?   [/quote]

I think we have about as many straight friends as we have gay friends.  We actually may have more straight friends.

If there is a Mommy & Me class we both go or whoever is available goes.  If there is a Daddy Daughter dance neither of us go.  Neither of us are their father.  Sometimes my dad would go, or DW brother...but more often it's their 'uncle' who is also their biological father.  We choice a known donor because we felt it was important they knew their biological dad.  He is also gay and in a relationship but didn't want to raise children.

I don't care what it's called.  I often call it same-sex marriage but know others who think it should just be called marriage.  I have a handful of gay friends who don't believe in same-sex marriage because they think it copies the heterosexual lifestyle.  I have straight relatives who don't support my marriage or my family.  Eventually I learned to honestly just not give a shit what others think, and that was a great realization.

We have encountered negative comments, but not many in front of our faces.  When we were dating and went out a lot we'd encounter a lot more, but since we've had children we tend to not go to places where people get drunk and start harassing us.  I can think of two really bad experiences we've had with strangers regarding our relationship.  When DW and I were dating we went out to a bar and some drunk guy came up with his buddies trying to hit on us.  He found out we were lesbians and got really angry.  He wouldn't leave us alone and started threatening us.  His buddies tried to get him to leave, but he got even more violent.  Cops were called, charges were pressed.  He later apologized and said that was unlike him, and he is a recovering alcoholic.  It was still scary.  The second time was when we were getting family pictures taken when my oldest was a toddler and our 5-year-old has just been born.  We were at a park and two ladies walked by and one shouted, "how fucking disgusting" and the other, "poor children being raised by dykes".  I hated it.  I've had people call me that before, but never in front of my children.  I cried.  I hated that people would talk like that in front of my kids and I felt like I couldn't protect them.

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