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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Look at Gunderson Residence at Mclean Hospital near Boston.

And be very aware that your parents will not live forever, and if your sibling is dependent on them for emotional support or financial support, have a plan in place for when she is "abandoned" by them when they pass away.  Those will be very rough times.[/quote]

OP here.  I missed your post. . .can you expand on this?  She has extreme relationships with our parents - flying into action as their protector/defender one minute, loathing them as unsupportive and hateful the next.  My father is not in the best of health and I know that when he does pass it will be ugly, particularly since I'm not close with him and I will not have the devastated reaction she will expect is "proper."  The idea that his death will be an abandonment for her is a big one - especially since it will be for the second (multiple?) time.  [/quote]

For us, after they were gone there were multiple suicide attempts, so make sure wherever she is you have contacts you can call to check in on her and help her at least a little. It's hand to have local police and sheriff and maybe the local crisis hotline.

Also, all the energy she expends on them will likely be directed to who is left in her life, i.e. maybe you? any friends?  but in our scenario there was co-dependency issues and depending on the parents for emotional regulation (since BPD is really the absence of emotional regulation).

Just realize, your parents may be deflecting a lot of your sister's most stressing behaviors, and if you keep her in your life after  you are gone, you may well be on the receiving end.[/quote]

Wow.  Thank you for sharing.  This will definitely be something for us to think about.  Hopefully it is still a few years down the road.  [/quote]

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