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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH can be like this, to a lesser extent.  I'm very direct. I say what I mean and I don't pull any punches. I simply can't understand why he seems to think that I am hinting around about something ...I speak my mind! I don't have a solution, just commiserating.[/quote]

OP here, responding to this plus a couple of others: this is also part of the problem. He often assumes I have some secret meaning behind what I'm saying. "Oh, you already took the trash out!" is viewed as a potentially suspect statement that may imply I don't WANT the trash out just yet. "Sure, pancakes sound fine" is read as "but what I really mean is you don't love me because you didn't suggest omelettes".  His mom is the world champion of passive aggressiveness, so he is always looking for the unstated REAL message. I've told him plenty of times that I mean what I say and I will SAY what I mean - not just think it real hard and hope he'll guess - but he still searches for "tone" or what he thinks I REALLY mean.

Re: undiagnosed anxiety disorder. Would not be surprising, actually. Or mild depression. Has fam hx of both.

To a PP who noted I did not directly respond with "sure, sounds great" to his original suggestion before offering up an alternative. You're right - I could have done better on that. I think I would have gotten a pretty similar reaction though no matter how I offered up the alternative. It's really, really hard to craft an innocuous question/statement to be directed to my husband.

We're a work in progress I guess. [/quote]

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