Reply to Settle a debate. Which is worse: emotional or physical affair?

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Reply to "Settle a debate. Which is worse: emotional or physical affair?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can't say for sure since I've never dealt with the emotional affair side, but I think a physical affair would be harder to get over. You can only control your feelings so much, and I understand how you can slide into an emotional affair without making the conscious decision to do so. With a physical affair, my husband would have made the affirmative choice to have sex with another woman, which would feel like so much more of a violation of me and our marriage.[/quote]

+1.  How does one define an emotional affair?  I have a work crush and I know it's mutual, but if we flirt every month or so, are we having a mini emotional affair?  We really can't help the attraction and neither of us set out to find a crush.  I would never let it become physical. I can't wrap my head around people who would prefer a physical affair.  Btw, unless you are doing something shady, you can have an emotional affair with no lying.  [/quote]

An emotional affair is you texting her instead of your partner about your fears/emotions/ambitions, etc. You talking to that person about your partner badly. You lusting over them. You spending nights "working till 3 am" and "grabbing burgers" with your "work friend" while your wife and child wait for you home. You wouldn't do these things with a same sex friend, all of a sudden you're doing them with someone you have sexual feelings for. Just because you "Didn't bump uglies" doesn't mean this isn't going to break your partner who stupidly gets kissed good bye and told I love you on the way to work while you go lust over someone else. Speaking from experience here. [/quote]

Thank you for sharing.  I guess it's a tough call for me, but still would prefer the above vs my dh having sex with another woman and lying about where he was.  I'm not minimizing what you went through, but if he was honest about where he was and never became physical with her, it seems like it's possible to overcome in therapy.[/quote]

You are very naive. I hope you never have to have a crash course in what an EA means.[/quote]

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