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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a married woman w/kids that is almost 50. I honest to Goodness do not understand all of this 'I have to spend this holiday with 'my family' and we have to spend this holiday with 'your family' "  I really and truly do not get that grown ass people cannot decide how and where to spend Christmas. Neither my parents or in-laws have ever gotten in a huff because someone was seeing someone else too much or too little. [b]OP you had the best solution when you said have dinner at your house and everyone can join.[/b] Really, a grown ass man is thinking it's not fair to his parents, really?????
Holidays are for enjoying with your entire family, not keeping a tally sheet. Grow up!P.S. [b]I'm with the pp who said their family would have just invited OP's parents. My folks AND my in-laws would have done just that as well[/b].[/quote]

Sometimes over time families have to adjust to different ways of doing the holidays.  We have a similar geographic relationship w/ our families...when we were newly married we alternated Thanksgiving and Xmas.  Once we had kids the Thanksgiving air travel became miserable and one year it didn't work to do Xmas day with the closer ILs (they are a 3 hr drive).  So we decided all Thanksgivings would be with the ILs and we stay home for Xmas.  We visit the ILs either for New Years or later in Jan for MIL's birthday.  Apparently MIL hated this arrangement (she recently passed away) but too bad. You can do xmas just as well on the 30th as on the 25th.  My parents come out to join us every-other-xmas, spending the alternate year with my brother and his family who live near them.  We see my family for a couple weeks in the summer.  For now, this works.  I'm sure it will change as our kids get older.  That's life.

Regardless of what happens this year, it sounds like OP and her DH need a talk about what THEY want to do for the holidays, trying to leave out parental guilt-trips.
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