Reply to I need to warn a friend about all the bad things that happen when you cheat

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Reply to "I need to warn a friend about all the bad things that happen when you cheat"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You're still a selfish dick, and wrong, even if it's acceptable in your culture. Just because it's tolerated in a culture doesn't mean it's healthy.

My in-laws are from a culture where all the men are expected to cheat. The women and kids suffer horribly as a result, but it's accepted. That doesn't make it right. It creates a whole new level of twisted sickness in people.

You don't have the right to make a unilateral, secret decision as to whether you and your partner are in a monogamous relationship. Your partner has a right to decide whether they will stay with you if you decide you are going to sleep with others. 
[/quote]
It's funny how you assume I'm a man.  I'm a woman who was raised in this culture.  I accept that over the course of our marriage my husband will possibly sleep with other women.  It doesn't cause me any suffering because the kind of discreet, part-time polygamy acceptable for us doesn't take anything away from wives.  Wives and nonwives simply exist in two different universes with two different benefit packages.   I understand if in your worldview cheating is this great, explosive, life-ruining thing, but it doesn't have to be the case, and it certainly isn't everywhere else. [/quote]

I didn't assume you're a man. I was addressing cheating as done by either side, but from a perspective of many years behind-the-scenes in-depth observation of a culture where cheating is acceptable, particularly for men. The women go along with it, just as you do, shrugging their shoulders and minimizing the negative effects, trying to tell themselves they somehow have it better if they're the wives vs girlfriends. You have to rationalize so much, don't you, when you buy into the status quo that exists for the convenience of mostly men. But I see the misery behind the outward "acceptance." You are so entrenched in it you don't realize how twisted things are. You're making the best of a bad situation. That does not make it a good situation, nor does it make it right or positive for someone to cheat.[/quote]

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