Reply to MIL tells my kids that instead of gifts she will donate to her chairty of choice

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ugh. I'm sorry for the way that was handled. My MIL told DD that she had been setting money aside for her for when she's older, but decided to send it to a refugee girl in Africa instead because "I knew you wouldn't mind."

That money will mean more to that child's life than to my daughter's I'm sure...but why not just say "let's do something to help a girl have opportunities" or "I donated money ..".

DD didn't even know about the money Grandma was saving and then changed her mind about, so why tell her?! It just left her feeling confused, hurt, and then guilty for feeling that way.[/quote]

To this point, it could have been done so much better.  If you do World Vision, you get to pick the child you are helping.  PP's MIL could have sat down with PP's DD and got on the computer and picked a child that resonates with DD…usually because the child has the same birth date (same day and year), or birthday (same day, different year), or same first name.  Or lives in a country that DD might have been studying.

We did this with our kids and they really got into it and they and their sponsored children wrote letters to each other, and (letters) we sent them pictures and stickers and book marks.  Their letters to us came with translations.  I pay the monthly donation and our kids have voluntarily saved a portion of their allowance as extra for their sponsored kids.  Thanks to this, my older child researched Brazil and wants to go when when she gets older, and my younger child has researched and wants to go to India.  It's great for the sponsored kids who get help and get a pen pal who is truly interested in their well-being, and great for our kids, who have learned to be charitable and have their horizons opened to the larger world.

Is it possible to talk to MIL about taking this approach? (or have your DH talk to her?)  Seems a shame that if she's going to do it, that your kids get nothing out of it.  I'm telling you, when your kids see these pictures of kids with nothing--and see them as a real individual person, not just a concept, they will likely be happy to give up a present to help the kid out.[/quote]

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