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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "women who attended elite schools..."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I went to law school at Harvard as a single young woman and didn't marry until about 6 years after graduating (so I have some dating experience with respect to your point). OP, there's no way to say it without, as a PP said, it being a conversation de-railer or creating some other downside. When many people hear "Harvard" they go to that stereotype of "Hahr-vahrd" and make assumptions about the person. This can work for or against you, depending on a few factors. In school, it was referred to "dropping the H-bomb." It had a dual effect: In general, if you were a guy, it caused women to go starry-eyed. If you were a woman, it caused men to go running. It's as if people people stop seeing you as an individual and just put you in a stereotypical box (smart, bragging, perhaps spoon-fed as well). Men and women--girl friends, too. I think this may be more of a Harvard thing than a Yale or Colombia thing, because of the way the media portrays Harvard. It's also a bigger deal on the west coast because Harvard grads aren't a dime-a-dozen like in Boston, or to some extent, DC. Hopefully things have changed since I graduated. I like Mr. Scientist's comments above, but I can tell you, you are (or were) few and far between. [/quote] What she said. Also a woman, also went to Harvard undergrad, also have gotten really strong reactions (often negative). With Harvard, in particular, it's less of a "you must be smart" and more of a "you must be rich."[/quote] I guess I'm surprised. I think men are more focused on what you look like and if you're good company. Maybe it is because I grew up in a highly educated part of the country but I just don't think anyone cares. I think graduates of these schools care because they kind of drill it into you at school about how great your school is and how smart you are. It reminds me of what I used to hear at my private grade school. I switched to public school and later on would be amazed as to how special my private school friends thought they were. They still talk about private school at the age of 35. No one cares and no, men are not intimidated by you or think you're rich because you went to a private high school they have never even heard of. Really you're single at 35 because you're unattractive and kind of a bitch. [/quote] I'm not talking just about men & dating. I've had professional colleagues who just can't get over it -- they find a reason to mention it Every Time they're talking with me. There was a woman (part of a larger group of friends) who never cared for me to begin with but REALLY hated that I went to Harvard. (She either never went to college or dropped out, which didn't matter to me, but I think she was sensitive about it. The negative reactions are by no means universal -- it's probably one in 50 or fewer? -- so I don't think it's me; I think it's other people's preconceptions. But it's still happened enough to make me wary of mentioning it when it's not really relevant.[/quote]
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