Reply to Annoyed that our family is expected to change to accommodate my cousin's wife's rules

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a SIL like this, and expects our entire family to accommodate her.  I am so tempted sometimes to purposely do the opposite.[/quote]

Oh, I do too, and 12 years into our marriage, it still annoys me! Betting that she is your DH's youngest sister, right? (Only youngest children get away with behavior like this, because their family coddled them when they were growing up. And even now of course, DH and the others still don't see how they are the enablers.)[/quote]

Actually, my oldest sister is like this. I think it's because she was the center of my parents' universe until my other sister came along eight years later. [/quote]

Your generalization is off.  In our family it's the opposite.   I am the youngest and was always expected to follow every one else's instructions and choices.   My brother was the number one son and was spoiled as the "family heir" and he was usually pandered to in most things .  My sister is the middle child but as the only girl and Daddy's little girl she was always deferred to.  Although as the baby I was given gifts and things, I never got to pick or set rules or request rules etc but was always expected to just go along with everyone else's wishes  because I was youngest.  Far from being defered to, I was expected to defer to everyone else.[/quote]

+10000

People like to "pick on" the youngest, but as the oldest, I can tell you, youngest generally are NOT spoiled.  Nor are the oldest, for obvious reasons.

Middle children are constantly trying to get accolades and/or attention, so they act out the most.  Ask any of your friends with more than three children in their family!  The parents are constantly over compensating (favoring) the middle child, to show they are not forgotten.

Anyway, if it was a siblings spouse, I might have a short, pleasant, friendly chat with her.  But your cousins spouse?  Let it go.

[/quote]

Look, all these generalizations are just that -- generalizations.  DH is the middle and is was the most well behaved child on the planet -- his whole family agrees.  Oldest is bossy and gets her way and youngest was the rebel.   All different from above.  It doesn't matter what order cousin's wife is.  She is being ridiculous, and there is no need to accommodate her.
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