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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like being a SAHM is a really shit job for some of you, sending you into a spiral of depression, therapy, and meds.  I always figured it was hard work but it seems to make some people profoundly miserable.  DS is due in a few months and I will go back to work after maternity leave bc I don't think we are ready to go to one income. I have never wanted to be a SAHM for a number of reasons, but you have my respect bc it seems like a very hard gig.   Is it really so bad that it is depression-inducing and/or results in this behavior?[/quote]

Seems like there are lots of tedious jobs with long hours. Is mothering more likely to result in a need for therapy than, say, coal mining?[/quote]

Yes--coal mining is physically difficult but not emotionally and mentally draining. I say this as someone whose father was a coal miner who would have rather put in a full day at work than spent an hour alone with his four kids.[/quote]

My mother was perfect with small kids under the age of ten. With teenagers, not so much. She was kind, loving, patients with small kids. You have to understand the developmental stages of babies and children, that they are very concrete and not at all abstract. Sometimes words and language mean nothing to them. It is all about just being present with them, in the moment. Bubbles might fascinate them, and they want to stop and play with the bubbles. Jumping in a rain puddle and stomping around in it, just fascinating to them!

People on DCUM are educated and cerebral, and very much in their heads. Babies and kids need to PLAY to learn. When adults realize, you are "playing" and not "working," then you are able to enjoy your babies and small kids. Those moments won't last forever. Some people don't understand at all when you say it is "very hard work," because to those people, kids are fun and all they want to do is play.

Also, kids love routines. Get better organized with lots of labels and containers. We never wore our shoes in the house. Our toys were never left on the floor. We put games and toys back where they belonged as soon as we finished playing. Folded clothes left on our beds that we made every morning, then the clothes were immediately put away. My dad did the "outside" housework, the lawn, the cars, worked outside the home. My mom took care of everything else, and stayed at home. She never seemed stress out, because she was in control of how the house ran. She has routines, and her children were well behaved and disciplined. When we were teenagers, that is when she started the "screaming." She no longer had as much control. :) She had to learn how to still be a loving and patient parent with teens, and that is when my father, who was the strong, silent type, became the more involved parent. He provided some balance, taught me and my siblings how to drive, didn't worry as much as mother did about us being on our own. [/quote]

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