Reply to My wife attempted suicide last night

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. I just left her room a little while ago. She is breathing on her own, and was able to talk when I was there (they took out the ventilator when she woke up.) I just wanted to crawl into that bed with her and fix her. I've always been able to fix what was broken and now I can't fix the person who is the center of my whole world. There is no logical reason why she survived. This is her 3rd attempt in a year, her first attempt while under psychiatric care/drug regiment. My son, I think, will be ok. I lied to him to keep her secret. I have people who are listening, who are trying to understand, but I find I just tuned them out today. I am crumbling under the weight of this all. [/quote]

Please, please, please.  Get it out of your head that *you* can fix her[b]. And you need to make her understand she has want to be better and do it herself.  If she won't, don't let her destroy you and your son's life with her acts of violence.[/b] Because end of the day, suicide is an act of violence against oneself, and violence of any form is very dangerous for a developing child.[/quote]

Get lost. This man is dealing with enough without you getting on your high horse and suggesting the miserable, doomed-to-fail tough "love" approach. I'm not in the habit of insulting strangers on the Internet, but I'll make an exception: go fuck yourself with a brick and stop spreading this poison. You sanctimonious ass-wipe.[/quote]

what? there is nothing about tough love here. it's about setting up appropriate boundaries when dealing with loved ones with personality disorders, and realizing that the responsibility for their care begins and ends with the patient. it is not up to OP to fix her, nor feel like he has failed b/c he can't figure out how.  his DW is an adult and will make her own decisions; OP can and should love her through this, but not take on the burden of "fixing" her.  [b]he is not a professional and she is not his patient; his relationship is a spouse and father to their child.[/b]

not to put too fine a point on it, but you seem a bit high strung yourself, PP. have you had much experience dealing with loved ones with personality disorders? it can fray the nerves to the breaking point, so if you are dealing with something too be sure to help yourself too.

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More importantly, he is a man in intense pain and suffering right now, bewildered and shell-shocked, expressing himself here and looking for support. Not a dressing down that you gave. [/quote]

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