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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not sure why everyone is giving OP a hard time.  If a really good friend told me she could not attend my wedding I would be sad.  I would probably offer to fly her out with FF miles (so she didn't feel guilty about me spending money) and maybe even pay for the room if I could afford it.

That said,  if she told me she could not come for financial reasons and then proceeded to tell me about a wedding she went to in Europe and her next vacation I would be a bit insulted.  It is just a fact.  I wouldn't call her out on it but I would definitely take it as a signal that she does not see our friendship as a priority.

OP is not a bitch or a bridezilla.  She is a normal woman who really wanted her friend to attend her wedding.  OP said she was having a small wedding which means she prioritized this friend over others and she is sad to learn her friend doesn't feel the same need to prioritize her.

15 years ago my best friend got married the day after our other best friend's sister got married, on the other side of the country.  Our friend went to her sister's wedding and jumped on an early am flight to be at the other wedding.  She came straight from the airport and put on her bridesmaids dress in the basement of the church. When your friendship is  a priority you figure something out.  When it is not a priority you don't.

So again OP is not a bitch.  A bitch would say something catty to the friend but a normal person would vent a bit  in a way she knows won't get back to the friend.

Congrats and best of luck with your wedding OP.[/quote]
You AND the OP need to grow up. Making someone's wedding a priority IN YOUR LIFE is not indicative of a the depth and breadth of a friendship(unless of course you are an adolescent girl). One of my best friends had already planned an island vacation when I got engaged and planned my destination wedding. SHE HAD PLANS and could not come to my wedding without going into debt. This is a woman who had been there when I was happy, sick, sad, found my fiance, lost my job, lost her job, I babysat her kid, sat with her crying over her ex. WHO GIVES A FUCK IF SHE COULD NOT TURN HER LIFE UPSIDE DOWN FOR THE ONE DAY OF MY WEDDING.
You Heffas are past ridiculous![/quote]

It is not about the wedding so much as it is about making important people priorities in your life.  As I mentioned if my friend couldn't make it I would be sad but you are naive if you think the reason for missing the wedding is not important to the bride.
As you mentioned your friend had a prior commitment.  She planned her wedding and THEN you planned your wedding. Life happens.  We all get that.

Now I do realize we are only hearing OPs side but as she tells it friend has known about the wedding for 1.5 years.  So it is unlikely this next vacation was planned that long ago.
Further the issue is that in one breath the friend is saying she cannot afford the wedding and in the next she is talking about a different trip.  
The fact that she would be so blatant about not making OPs wedding a priority is what could impact the friendship.  As all of us who have supported OP have pointed out it is not missing the wedding that is the issue, it is the fact that the friends is being CLEAR. OP's wedding is not a priority over her next vacation.

The friend has every right to skip the wedding FOR WHATEVER reason she chooses.  That said OP has every right to feel sad and a bit offended that the friend is opting to be do something else.  No one is telling her to cut the friend out of her life.  No one is telling her to make her friend feel guilty.  We are acknowledging her right to feel sad and slighted.

Lastly I think the friend should have delivered the news not attending the wedding in one call and saved her good news for another phone call.  It was already a tough pill to swallow, why make it harder.

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