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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I have been there OP.  And it definitely changed my friendship with that person unfortunatley.[/b]

You really have no gracious/mature approach other than to take her at her word, tell her sincerely how much you will miss her being there, and then go have a fabulous wedding.

THere may well be more going on w/ her than you know (I'd bet there is) but there is no way to figure that out, nor does it really matter in the big picture.  If she is unable or unwilling to attend your wedding then that's it.  Try not to obsess about why, just be as gracious as you can and move on.  See what happens over the next year or two with your friendship but prepare yourself for the fact that it already isn't the friendship you thought it was.

Sorry.[/quote]

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

I cannot FATHOM treating a friend differently or changing the nature of our friendship because she could not come to my wedding. It's 4 hours.  You meet up with her a few weeks later for dinner and tell her all about it, show her pictures, give her the wedding day gossip and drama and then move on with life.

I'd be more concerned about a friend being there to support me thru my MARRIAGE than thru my wedding.  The wedding is a few hours.

Unreal. [/quote]

I'm the person you're quoting.  There is more to my story than is relevant to OP's question.  After my friend said she couldn't attend my wedding (by email) I replied immediately, saying how much I would miss her.  I tried to call her about a week later to follow up and she never returned the call.  I got a card and a $10 gift certificate from her as a wedding gift and I haven't heard from her since (5 years ago).  This was someone with whom I'd been friends for more than a decade, but who was pulling away long before I got married.  We were single friends, online dating warriors, coworkers, best gal pals, etc...   When she had major surgery I drove 6 hours to spend a few days helping her recuperate.  I helped her move.  Etc...   But when my relationship started getting serious she started pulling away.  She didn't want to hear about my boyfriend.  She definitely didn't want to hear about an engagement and by the time we were planning the wedding I was well aware that the friendship was in serious trouble.

I was deeply hurt, but not entirely shocked.  It's one of the only significant friendships I've had end, certainly the one that ended in the most difficult way.  BUt it also wasn't about me.

So my real point to the OP is that you don't know what else may be going on in her life.  It may also be that the friendship has been in trouble for a while and OP has missed the signals.  Or OPs friendship may survive just fine if she can be gracious about the wedding attendance.  I didn't really think OP needed to hear that I never heard from my friend again.

But thanks for being so judgmental about a situation and people about whom you know nothing.  [/quote]

And I wrote the 'judgmental' post. Wasn't trying to judge you, perhaps I misquoted.

I am judging the OP or anyone who holds a grudge for simply not attending your wedding.

Take the long view folks. It's about the marriage, not the wedding day. Get over yourselves.[/quote]

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