Reply to When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage

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Reply to "When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How often do you take off work to spend the day with her?

How often do you go on dates without the children? How often do you actually plan the date and daycare?

How often do you go on vacation without the children?

How often does she go away with friends without you or the children?

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X200000000[/quote]

Oh, fuck this. It's standard issue advice for husbands of wives who have unilaterally decided that because they are mothers there is no longer any reasonable expectation that they'll be wives as well. And it doesn't work. It's gaslighting to make him think he's at fault for the poor treatment he's receiving and, even more, kiss her ass. Talk about victim blaming. [/quote]

So your way is:  Do not address the wife's needs at all.  Just demand that she show affection for someone with energy that she doesn't have.  Anyone want to guess why she might not have it?  Hmmm, there are a few options.  1 (and I'm putting money on this one) is that the husband is a lazy, selfish brat.  That's how he comes off in the OP. Not very attractive. 2) is she's overwhelmed with motherhood (and these days also usually a job) and hasn't figured out how to be herself as a person and a spouse and a parent at the same time.  3) something physical or mental/emotional. 
Or, in your preferred scenario, she's just evil.  She just was biding her time until she had kids so she could be an admittedly wonderful mother but destabilize her family by mistreating her husband.  Does that make sense to you?  Not logical, right?
So it makes much more sense to try to address the root causes of her detachment rather than call her fat and threaten her, which is what the OP is doing.  But given that that's his approach, I suspect divorce will happen and she'll at least be better off.
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This.  This whole story the OP is giving perfectly fits with the midlife crisis, "American Beauty"-wannabe narrative this dude is trying to create.  The wife just cut off sex.... just because!  For no reason!  Just to piss off OP.  There is no reason or logic to it. 
Maybe whiny OP needs to sit back and consider his wife's life for once (WITHOUT trying to be passive aggressive and bash her appearance) and WHY she doesnt want to have sex with him.  By all means, maybe he should take it personally.  Maybe theres a damn good reason she is so physically and emotionally turned off by him.  And that would be my guess from reading his posts, which might as well have been penned by a ten year old for all the emotional maturity in them.  I feel bad for his wife.  Maybe a divorce is the best option, actually...[/quote]

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