Reply to Coping mechanisms for in law visit,,,what do you do?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We do not have children and luckily they are not staying with us due to space issues; they will be staying with other local family. However, they DO NOT "do" activities. They specifically say they want to "sit and visit." They do this every time. Very literally, we sit in a room with them and "visit." We sit. Listen to them blab on and on. Look at them. They look at us. They don't even want to go out to eat. They like takeout to be brought to them. So they can continue. to. sit.[/quote]

My IL's were like this (somewhat- except my MIL is not a nag - she is really very sweet and a saint to put up with my FIL).  Bottom line is my FIL refuses to eat well or exercise so he is at least 100+ lbs overweight and is having a hard time getting around.  So - he plops himself down and either watches TV, plays on the computer or reads a book.  Every single time they visit.  After we had our son, we stopped catering to them.  We make plans that can include them if they would like.  If it is something that will include a lot of walking- we look up wheelchair rentals and have all of the information handy.  Then, we let them know - when you are here - we are planning on doing X, Y and Z.  We would love it if you would join us, but we certainly understand if you would prefer to stay at home.  My MIL almost always comes along.  FIL is starting to (he is quickly realizing it is necessary if he wants quality time with his grandson).  If he chooses not to go (which happens) we still have a nice dinner together (at home) - usually take-out.  Last visit (2 weeks ago) FIL came along to the pumpkin patch.  He loved watching our son run and play.  A good time was had by all.

BTW- we have been together for 10 years- our son is 1- we JUST stopped catering to him/them within the past year.  Good luck!!![/quote]

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