Reply to I'm jealous and angry my ex-husband's new wife is a better mother and wife than I am

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Reply to "I'm jealous and angry my ex-husband's new wife is a better mother and wife than I am"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I feel for you. I am a person like you. My bathroom and mail are disorganized, etc. I am also jealous of such people and could not imagine how much worse that feeling would be if they were my kids' stepmom on top of it.

I agree with PPs that your admitting this is healthy and would like to suggest a few ways forward for you.

It sounds like you and DH were not at your best with each other. Now perhaps he is better with her, and you are better too. So now your kids get better versions of their parents--whom they will always love no matter how disorganized they are.

On top of that--your kids now have a chance to learn the skills you don't have time to teach them, about being organized and together and healthy and all that. (You instead teach them about having a career and working hard and fulfillment in that area--something tells me Wife #2 does not have your kind of job.) They get the benefit of having two very different moms to learn life skills from--and in modeling positive interactions for them they learn a lot about emotional intelligence from you both.

And banish that "ouch" and "primary parent" talk! People have different skills and they are not determined by our gender, PPs are unaware of this but that's their problem, not yours. Hold your head up high that you are the breadwinner. And revisit that custody agreement when you feel more in control of your life. [/quote]

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