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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My lovely but now dreadful boyfriend of 9 months told me over the weekend that I should " pick another career choice " because he doesn't like the fact that I will " be the bread winner". I'm in grad school and will make double what he does but he still makes great money. Lately in realizing what I thought was cute behavior is now worrying me. I believe he may be a narcissist. He tries to control me, texts/calls constantly, he is very much into himself and he is " special". Literally told me that. He recently decided the timeline of when we will get married and have kids. He started calling me names and demeaning me when he doesn't like what I have to say or doesn't get his way. I'm so ready to end it with him but I love him. [/quote]

OMG.  You sound like me 20 years ago.  I wasted far too long with that man.  He desperately wanted to marry me, but I dragged my feet, knowing inside that something was wrong.  I made myself smaller and smaller, hoping that he would be "OK" when he felt more secure with himself.  But, it never ends.  I finally left him when he threatened to hit me for the second time.  (Yes, it will descend to that if you stay on this path; he is already emotionally abusing you.)

Here is what I would say to myself -- Leave now.  The person you think you love does not exist.  Even if you do love this person, you do not have to stay with him.  There are many people in the course of our lives we will love.  But, choosing to stay with someone that you love depends on many more things -- do you have the same values and goals, do you treat each other well, will you take care of each other in ups and downs, will the other person help you to be the best person you can be?

I think you know the answer to these questions. Leave now.  This person is taking up space that you could be using to develop yourself and your relationships with other more supportive people. [/quote]

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