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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Cassiopeia]I see your point, and I know statistically few second marriages survive (I think the divorce rate is like 70%??).  He said he thinks she never loved him, so while there's always blame to go around in relationship problems, in this situation it seems like a basic incompatibility.

I also think that if two people are deeply in love, the real-life crap doesn't matter as much.  Especially if those two people spent years with an avoidant spouse who never showed any affection at all, no hugs, no kissing, let alone sexual desire.  I think two people coming out of marriages like that would hang on for dear life if given the chance to be together honestly.

To me there's being "in love" where you can't get enough of someone, you love their smell, their taste, you want to know everything about them.  The feeling of clicking with someone, of being instantly comfortable.  This is a feeling and it's either there or it isn't.  And then there's long-term love, where it's a choice, you decide to love someone because you know they're a good person, you've judged them to have a good character, they check off the boxes.  I think if after two years this guy is still in love with the OW that a marriage between them would survive.

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"She never loved me" is a convenient way to get morally square with your affair - if she never loved him, then she wouldn't be truly hurt that he fell in love with someone else, so he's okay. We don't know her side of it to know if this statement reflects reality.[/quote]

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