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[quote=Anonymous]I'm talking about more than mild talk and also talk about fantasies. If he ever just didn't know what to say (and that happened in the beginning) I could tell & just left it open with yes or no stuff or cut it out altogether if he was just not ready yet. Baby steps, which was fine with me b/c as I've mentioned many times now I didn't/don't want him to feel pressured. But he often initiated it himself once he was able to loosen up. He just had hang ups about it. I know some of it was trust issues, and some a fear I'd feel disrespect.

To the last poster, I wasn't minimizing, I was clarifying again b/c someone said I had been vague & I don't believe I was. Since others  also had been referencing "kink" & using other descriptors that aren't accurate I thought maybe I needed to state it again. Also, I don't act or discuss this issue with him in a way that I could see would make him feel inadequate. I tell him he's hot & how much he turns me on, & how much I want him both in & out of the bedroom. He does know that I sometimes need more, but he also knows I'm not bitching at him. I'm trying to understand what changed. A lot of ppl keep saying it's just how he is but it's not. Believe it or don't, but I know him. Something was hindering him before and I helped him work it out by showing him, not just telling him he could trust me, creating a safe environment & assuring him I didn't feel disrespected by that stuff. Once he got comfortable with that & felt safe in trusting he let loose. Something is just in the way again. [/quote]

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