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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I actually have not been vague at all. I said originally & in a post on (I believe it was) the last page that all I'm talking about is dirty talk & fantasizing. I did mention also in my OP that he said in the begging that he had some "freak" in him, which he did say. That isn't what I was asking for though, I did specify. If he were actually a "freak", why would it take 2yrs before he was comfortable talking & fantasizing? Obviously he wasn't really "freaky" then, but he did get to a place where he was comfortable with & even initiating it himself. [b]While I guess I can understand it might take effort for him to think about, it's not an "8min mile" he's being asked to keep up with...[/b][/quote]

You do yourself no favors by minimizing what you are asking for in relation to his true capacity. You are not asking for too much, and for some other men, you would not be asking for enough.  But you have to accept the effort it takes him to get to what is your comfort zone (even if he wishes it were his comfort zone or tries to make it his comfort zone too). This will help you communicate with him in a way that keeps him from becoming defensive or losing confidence in his ability to please you. In the throes of early love, he was optimistic about his own freakiness, perhaps overly so. I am sure he was happy to build up to a freakier level. But maintaining this is obviously harder for him.

If this were really about running, you would find a running group or a running buddy that ran your pace, or maybe even pushed you further. Your hubby might join in occasionally when he was feeling up to it. Unfortunately, for 99% of people sex doesn't work this way. [/quote]

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