Reply to 1st grade boy never eats his packed lunch...need other viewpoints, pls

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Reply to "1st grade boy never eats his packed lunch...need other viewpoints, pls - DH is so frustrated"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your husband is engaged in a power struggle with a kid that he cannot win, and that's always a failing proposition for a parent. He cannot force your son to eat the lunches he packs, he doesn't have that kind of control, and to respond with a temper tantrum that he just won't pack lunch at all is ridiculous and childish. If he doesn't want to pack PB&J every day (which would be my solution), he could try sitting down with your son and brainstorming a list of two or three lunch options that your son agrees he will eat. Kid gets the variety dad wants, and hopefully there isn't so much wasted food to make dad crazy.[/quote]

+1. I get your DH's point of view - he's packing these great lunches; [b]where's the gratitude!?[/b] But, you're dealing with a kid who gets to exercise the final decision over what he will actually eat, and he wants an unfussy, sugary lunch like most of his friends probably have. Your DH can be right but also wrong, which I think he is here. Right that he's packing a great lunch; wrong to have an emotional power struggle over what to pack a little kid for lunch. He can't win. For his own sake, he needs to let go, but I'm not sure how you can help him do that. Just tell him in soothing tones that you know he's 100% right, but just try a trial period of PBJs and see what happens.[/quote]

No, no, no.

It's not a 6-7 yo's job to show gratitude by eating food his father wants him to want but he does not.  It's a huge mistake to try to "force-feed" gratitude that way.

Rather, you want child to learn to feel GENUINE gratitude -- for the fact that his dad loves him -- and to start to understand that his dad shows his love by packing a healthy lunch.  However, this is a big concept for a 6-7 year old to understand.  Punishing him for rejecting food he does not like or want is certainly NOT a way to teach him to be grateful.

DH needs to step back.  He is trying to impose his preferences on his child and then feeling angry and resentful when his child does not appreciate or like them.  Parenting fail.  Our kids are not us.  They are separate people with their own likes, dislikes, preferences, motivations and moods.

So DH needs to stop making this about HIM and instead work together with his DS to figure out a lunch plan that works for both of them.  Even if it means PB&J every day (ideally paired with healthy sides like easy to eat fruit, veggies and protein-rich dairy).[/quote]

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