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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thanks for all of the feedback.

She ended up coming to my office to apologize before I had a chance to respond.  Which, stepping up like that is definitely to her credit.  I said it was fine although I'm terrible at not showing how I feel, so she probably picked up that I was annoyed.  I also said that my external title is actually VP (I thought maybe she didn't realize).  She said she knew, and that it was "fine" for my business cards (as though I had any role in what was put on them), but that people didn't really do that on email.  She also said that she'd sent the email because I reminded her of someone that had been at the company previously who had made a big deal out of her title, and "things didn't really go well for her."  The story seemed a little odd, first because it wasn't really in keeping with the content of her email and second because she obviously thought very little of this other woman, so why bring it up?

Anyway, I did look at others' emails, and some people include titles (including my boss) and others do not.  I also talked to a colleague (didn't explain the whole story) and he basically said that it varies person to person on whether title is included, but there's no one way of doing it.  He said that in my circumstance, he'd include it, for the very reasons that I'd included it in the first place.

For the question regarding internal and external titles, I'm not really sure why the company does it.  We don't bill or have clients, so I'm pretty confident it's not meant to be underhanded.  My best guess is that for some employees, like me, that do a lot of external work, it's good to have a more senior title, but as a general matter, a person at my level in the company wouldn't typically have that title.  It may also be that the company feels that other companies are more quick to use those titles, so in order to best convey employee seniority vis a vis other companies, it's better to use external titles.

Oh, also, I totally get not getting on the bad side of the admin.  Generally, this secretary actually seems pretty good and I was surprised by the email.  I don't have a strong sense of her relationship with my boss, but the bottom line is that the secretary and I are going to have an ongoing relationship, so honestly this is more annoying than anything, because it's kind of soured my view of her.  Also, I'm a pretty friendly person and thought we'd gotten off to a nice start, so I think that's where some of my embarrassment came from.[/quote]

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