Reply to Ask DH to remove photos of & with ex on Facebook??

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Reply to "Ask DH to remove photos of & with ex on Facebook??"

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[quote=Anonymous]I get it, you have a baby, only 8 months, and you think you and DH have recommitted to the marriage only to find out that he was planning to cheat on you and perhaps could have already cheated.  As others have said the FB photos of the Ex is not the main issue.  When DH was scrutinizing your FB friends that was your time to say "whoa buddy, why do you still have Larla's photos up and what is good for the goose is good for the gander". Coming back 3 years later to make this an issue is an attempt at avoiding the real problem. If you think the problem is he may go back to the ex girlfriend aka perhaps the "one that got away" let me tell you that him taking down FB photos or you keeping quiet about the attempts cheating isn't going to stop him if he really wants to get back with the ex and the ex wants to get back with him.

So where does that leave you?  You need to decide what you are willing to accept.  You say this is out of character but I really question if that is true.  Not in the sense that your DH is a serial cheater but more in the sense of taking the easy way out of problems, not unlike you sitting on the information of his attempted affair.  There is something in your husband's character that he would try to plan to meet up with another woman rather than staying focused and committed to working out whatever issues you both have or his own personal struggles if it has more to do with him (like dealing with loss in his family) than you.  I'm not saying divorce him or leave him.  Either he is committed to the marriage, he wants out, or he wants to have his cake and eat it too.  I personally have no interest in holding someone in a relationship they don't want to be in or being some sort of back up plan.  If you feel the same my advice is if he wants to be married to you and stay married to you, then he needs to figure out why he would choose someone else for a sexual relationship and has to take ownership of his actions.  How will he handle that situation in the future if he is feeling fill in the blank, frustrated,upset at work, wondering where his life has gone if this is some sort of mid-life crisis, feeling appreciated other than at home etc.  What part does he play in the situation and what is his role in changing the dynamic and communicating with you.  There may also be things that you both need to work on as a couple but I believe it starts with both people committing that they will do everything possible to make the marriage work and that can mean individual work.

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