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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So my DS came home today and said that he had the distinct pleasure (not) of sitting behind two AAP 3rd grade girls who were crowing about the fact that they were in the "smart" classes at their center school.  Apparently they were arguing with another girl, saying they were smarter than her because she is not in AAP.

Because my son is a 6th grader at this school (Gen Ed), he has heard these kinds of remarks countless times and knows just to roll his eyes at the ridiculous kids who blather on like this.  But he's a patrol and he felt bad for the girl they were arguing with, so he stuck up for her and told the other two to pipe down, and that they were wrong.

Parents of AAP kids:  please stop telling your kids they are "smarter" than the others.  They will parrot this BS back, even if you think they won't, making them even more insufferable than usual.

School counselors:  if you happen to be reading this, please sit down with the AAP classes at your school and make sure these kids know that they aren't any better, smarter, or more special than the Gen Ed kids.  Please ask the administration to stop treating them as such.

FCPS:  please do away with centers and drastically cut back AAP admittance, or else open it up to all.  You are doing our communities a disservice by dividing up kids in this way.

I'm posting this on both the AAP and VA School forums because it's an issue that affects all kids in this area.  Unfortunately.[/quote]
While I understand your feeling and agree that the AAP kids should learn to be respectful, you're being ridiculous by claiming those kids aren't smarter than gen ed kids, at least in a statistical sense.
Some may claim that AAP kids are not that smart since given the sheer volume of AAP admission. However, if your kids couldn't even get into this allegedly highly inflated program, there is a big chance that they're not bright at all.[/quote]

This is why some AAP kids behave the way they do.  I know kids in Gen Ed who are just as smart or smarter than some AAP kids.  Case in point, DC and two other kids in his class were the highest performers in his second grade class--highest math group and reading group throughout the year.  DC got into AAP, they didn't.  There is no way those kids are "not bright at all."  There are three of DC's AAP friends/classmates who get tutoring to help them keep up.   When your kids get to high school and you see Gen Ed kids who are doing as well or better than your kid, you'll get how ridiculous your statement is.  Until then, it's unfortunate that you might instill this way of thinking in your kid.  [/quote]

Yes.  At the end of the day, other things count for far more than the results of some tests administered to 7-year-olds.  Parents of older kids know this, even if some parents of some younger children harbor a fear that not getting into AAP will somehow demoralize and stigmatize their child for life.

Which is another reason why making a big deal out of how 8-year-olds discuss AAP, rushing to call some "bullies," and painting all AAP kids as an "insufferable" bunch, as the OP so churlishly did in her first post, was absurd.   [/quote]

Maybe calling all AAP kids insufferable was over the top, but I get OP's point about it not being ok to tell an 8 year old she's not smart or not smart enough.  If my child did that, I would be glad the patrol stepped in.  Young girls, especially, internalize being told they are not smart, and that chips away at their self esteem.  Hopefully the patrol stopped it in a nice way, but it's definitely a teachable moment for the two other girls involved.  They don't understand the potential impact of what they did, and maybe if an adult explains why it's hurtful to the other child, it would prevent them from doing it again.  Even if OP's presentation of the issue was "over the top," we really should try to teach our kids to  be kind to each other, and when they don't get why what they are doing is hurtful, we need to help them.[/quote]

According to the OP, the girls did not tell the other girl she was not "smart" or "smart enough."  They claimed to be smarter than her because they were in AAP, and she was not, and apparently she was ready to stand up for herself and argue to the contrary, at least until the patrol decided it was his job to step in and decide the matter.

It's only because academics matter more to people around here than anything else that some parents will have such paroxysms about such a scenario.  Kids compare themselves to each other all the time (so do adults, too, if DCUM is any indication).  It's apparently OK for kids to tell each other than some are prettier or more handsome than others, or that some are better athletes than others, but if one kids brags that she's smarter than another, the assumption is that the other child's self-esteem will be shaken to the core.

If it rose to the level of ridicule, or was something that one kid raised with another kid on a daily basis, I'd see it differently.  But I think you are smoking something if you really want to make a big deal out of this type of conversation among young kids.  And, of course, the elephant in the room is that the message that FCPS conveys by deciding that some kids are AAP-eligible, while others are not, is a much bigger deal than what kids on a bus may say to one another one afternoon.  If you really have the power of your convictions, you shouldn't just spout platitudes about "teachable moments."  You should be working your tail off to get the county to get rid of AAP.   [/quote]

You know what, 9:32, I re-read your post again, and actually like the way you articulated it.  It's adults who should be teaching kids to be kind generally, and perhaps giving them concrete examples ("think about how you would feel if...") of ways in which feelings can be unnecessarily hurt.   That's never going to stop kids from being kids, but at least you've planted the seed in their minds that words have consequences.

It's the demonization of AAP kids and the suggestion that everyone associated with AAP needs to get special training on how to deal with their GenEd peers that I find so odd about this thread.    
  [/quote]

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