Reply to Teacher is mean to my kid...

Forum Index » Schools and Education General Discussion

Reply to "Teacher is mean to my kid... "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Parent of an extroverted child, this would piss me off. My child is friendly, social and yes "likes to be seen" not sure what the problem is. [/quote]

[b]The problem is your kid is obnoxious.[/b][/quote]

New poster here. How is that obnoxious? My 6 year old is also an extrovert and loves to see and be seen. It's her nature to be friendly... I think it's a positive attribute.

[/quote]
 
It could be at the right time, maybe. But loving to "see and be seen" can easily morph into a distracting, indiscreet, or self-centered attitude. Young kids are still learning how to navigate the world. They do not naturally know where the line is. They do not automatically know that in some situations it is more appropriate to be calm and quiet and not draw attention to oneself or distract others, and they do not necessarily automatically know when they are in one of these situations. School, except for recess, is one of these times except as required in the course of a classroom activity.

One of my kids is an extrovert who needed some serious guidance (and a lot of practice) to learn to read a situation and regulate her behavior accordingly. One is naturally more quiet and calm, and sometimes had to be coached out of her shell.

The teacher decided the waving was distracting, so the waving needed to stop. She was perfectly within her rights to put this limit in place for the OP's child.

As for the teacher's statement... I think it probably wasn't the best thing to say because kids that age are very sensitive and not all families communicate in such a direct way, but on the other hand I think there is value in telling a kid how her behavior is coming across if it is off-putting, because they have to learn somehow.  It was a very blunt statement, but sometimes that works. I have point blank told my kid something along the lines of "You are coming across as a show-off right now because your behavior says you want everyone to see you and look at you when they are all supposed to be doing something else. That's not OK. Sit down and stop being distracting." So, that's pretty similar to what the teacher said. I would wish that the teacher had taken her aside privately and tried to put her feedback in more constructive terms, but I would never dream of telling my kid the teacher was wrong to say what she said. I try to (outwardly) default to siding with the teacher/the school and supporting them unless something outrageous has occurred. To me this would not qualify.

I would tell my child I was sorry she was upset. I would sympathize with her that the teacher was not very diplomatic, but some people communicate in a very blunt way and if that is the person's personality we need to adapt to that. I would tell her I'm sorry she was embarrassed at being chastised, but it is possible to avoid future embarrassment at being called out for improper behavior by following the "no waving" rule. I would then reframe the teacher's statement into a more constructive format and help DD work on behavior modification for the future to come across as outgoing and friendly without being "showy". [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics