Reply to If you were/are diagnosed as a narcissist or married to one.....

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am married to the son of a woman with narcissistic personality disorder and it really affects our marriage.  I have read up on children of narcissists and the various "roles" they can play in their family of origin, and he is a passive and infantilized -- goes along with her wanting to remain in total control and accepting of all her attempts to baby him.  His sister plays a different role and his brother is the one who has seen the pattern and plays an outspoken objector -- he also has problem with alcoholism, which he developed in part to deal with the messed-up family structure.  FIL is completely passive to her and also infantilized, but also has developed enhanced powers of perception in response to her domineering, and he can view patterns and people's responses to her, which she never does of course.  I take the path that I limit my contact with her as much as possible (luckily, they live far away) and limit my children's contact with her to times when I can also be there to "run interference" b/w her and them and to act as a human shield for them.  Nevertheless, there is still the problem of my husband's passive acceptance of being a victim of, basically, emotional incest from her -- and he does not see it -- and always accuses me of trying to control his relationship with is family.  I compartmentalize it and ignore it when we are not with them, but it is extremely hard the few times we are with them, say, for a few days like a family vacation.  At those times, it particularly becomes startling clear that he is emotionally wrapped up in and being used by his mother and he's basically completely out of touch with me and with our children until we physically leave and then can get back to our regular lives.  It is VERY hard on all of us.  [/quote]

That really sounds terrible and makes me so grateful for my MIL.  Best wishes for you and your family.[/quote]

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