Reply to what leads parents to be completely delusional about their kids' abilities?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As for the ivy talk -- if your kid is in about 3rd-4th grade, it'll work itself out by 9th-10th grade so ignore it for another 5 yrs.

From personal experience, there were a LOT of kids who did really well in elementary school and well in middle school. It honestly isn't hard to be a straight A student if you're of medium intelligence, you try, and you're in a home where grades/homework etc. are emphasized. That makes parents think "oh my kid is a genius" he's gotten straight As for 8 straight yrs.

The ivy bound kids start to separate themselves by 9th-10th grade though. In part because they really have to bust their a$$ if they want to even have a legit shot for an ivy, and that's not something (most) parents can mandate -- unless they are tiger parents. The kids themselves need to be willing to take 15 APs and get As in them, be a leader at school/sports/community. It's a rare kind of kid that will work that hard for the small % chance of acceptance.

There were many who were consistently straight A students in elementary who by high school were ranked in the 50th percentile. I don't mean to suggest they weren't smart -- they were. But they chose other things. Some decided they had a passion for one thing -- say science -- and would devour any and all science opportunities but were ok being in honors level classes for everything else. Some were told their parents couldn't afford out of state/ivy, so they figured -- why kill myself for it. Some discovered that they didn't mind being in state or frankly found a "passion" for video games or sports or dating or being popular or whatever and school was back burner. Point is -- as much as a parent can insist their child is ivy bound, with an acceptance rate that has hovered at the 7% mark or lower for the last 10 yrs -- I wouldn't make anything of it until the kid is holding a signed letter from admissions a decade from now.[/quote]

Totally agree. And sometimes the less apparently gifted kids catch up. I wasn't selected for the gifted program in elementary school. In fact I was denied admission to the school (private school) altogether the first time I applied (in kindergarten). But I worked hard and my grades gradually crept up, and between 8th and 9th grades it was like a switch was thrown and I suddenly understood how to study, understood the material I'd been missing, etc. I graduated first in my class and went to Harvard and did well there. I'm sure there were plenty of kids in my school who had more native smarts -- probably the ones selected for the gifted program in third grade -- but they didn't all go to Ivies because they didn't put in the effort, or they found other things of importance, etc. I really don't see how you can know what track your kid will be on before they're 11 or 12 at the earliest, 14 or 15 more likely. And I know plenty of people who didn't go to Ivies who are doing just as well or better than I am, and are probably happier, too![/quote]

I'm the PP you quoted and same for me. I wasn't selected for the gifted program in elementary, nor was I selected for national junior honor society in middle (whatever the junior high equivalent of national honor society is), nor did I get great scores on the SAT in 7th-8th grade where the "natively" smart kids all got invited to the summer program at Hopkins. But it's like in 9th grade the switch flipped -- took all the APs I was allowed to take and finished #2 in my class of 400 that yr. Somehow was able to maintain that until the fall of senior yr so I applied early decision to an ivy and got in. In HS I got the reputation for being smart but more than that for out working everyone else -- I honestly don't think I was the natively intelligent person that everyone would expect to go to an Ivy. And yes there are people who are far far happier than me -- I know that for a fact. So to make an ivy a priority in 4th grade is ridiculous and OP I'd frankly just ignore that discussion or come up with a few standard "that's great" comments that'll get you through the next 5 yrs.[/quote]

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