Reply to Popcorn Problem: how could this have been handled better?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]If you are happy to fantasize about the life of a single mom, then live it.[/quote]

Single mom PP here. I don't think she was "fantasizing about my life", but merely acknowledging the toll these daily issues can take on the marriage/family. [b]Four pages later, the conversation's still going[/b], so other folks see it too.

Way to take a shot at both of us in one sentence, though.[/quote]

It's interesting that you noted the length of this thread. To me that suggests this is a topic and/or situation that really resonates with people.  I've been there as a husband - something not done the way DW expects, she explodes, I get pissed, and the merry-go-round starts to turn. How does a couple stop the cycle? To me, the issue is NOT the relationship, but how each individual responds to anxiety, stress, or shame inducing situations. More importantly, knowing (or not knowing) what your own triggers for anxiety and anger are, and how to communicate these to your spouse, are at the core. In this case, yes, Mrs Popcorn clearly has triggers, but so does Mr Popcorn, I.e., does he really not know his wife well enough to predict what she wanted here? And if so, did he (sub) consciously lash out at her by doing the thing he knew would activate her trigger??

To the single mom - I'm not sure anyone took a shot at you....most of us just envy the person capable of living life by their own rules. (That was a compliment, by the way)

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