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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "If your spouse is a marathon runner, tri-athlete, etc ......"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you get resentful of the time commitment? We have three small children (including a 3 month old) and I can't help but feel that the time required is unfair to me. The health benefits of running i get - but I am pretty sure you achieve the health benefits by running a few miles a few times a week. No marathons required. No out of town races required. No "theme" runs required. I even understand the thrill of a race - but there are plenty of local ones!! Today I ran myself ragged with 2 preschoolers plus baby, after a night with little sleep (baby woke up at 2), spouse returned at 7 pm and took a long bath and went to bed. Tomorrow spouse needs 2 hour massage for leg muscles. Gimme a fucking break. [/quote] A couple issues going on here. But first, let me say I [b]totally disagree[/b] with your position dis-allowing marathons, out of town races, theme runs. [b] These are all great things that a family can enjoy together, and is a great example to the children of an adult having fun while exercising and staying healthy and fit. Doesn't your whole family travel together for these out-of-town events? If not, why not? [/b]I hope you can get beyond the immediate resentment and see the longer view that these race activities could be very much a great thing for a family to be involved with. Second thing is, I feel that all parents really SHOULD have some hobbies or activities (racing is a good one). OP do you agree with this as a basic principle? And in order for both parents to have their own "outside thing" it means splitting up child duties to provide coverage while spouse is away doing his/her thing. Third, what's the appropriate amount of time to allocate for parent's hobbies? Sounds like OP would answer on the "low" side, while her H would answer on the "high" side. I often see moms especially become 100% focused on the kids, and so any time at all away from these kids is perceived as "bad". But actually both parents need some time to relax away from the kids. OP are you getting enough personal time away from the kids? Last, the best "trick" for more hobby time has already been suggested: get up early, or stay up late. Is H able to do more training during these hours? [/quote] Are you kidding? Did you actually read her post? She has 2 preschoolers and a 3 month old? Explain how a mother who is nursing a 3 month old gets "personal time" when she has a spouse that is gone running all day? Does she get to sneak off to Starbucks for 30 minutes and bask in her alone time? How is she supposed to take care of them during a race? She should just stand around with them for several hours? She should just hang out in a hotel for hours on end? These kids have to be fed and have nap schedules. And how are toddlers and a newborn appreciating the benefits of exercise? Please explain how the family would enjoy these out of town events "together?" Walk us through what meals and race day would look like for one parent, 2 toddlers and an infant in an unfamiliar city. I've run a marathon. It's more than just a hobby. It is an intense time commitment that takes a toll on the family. When I was getting closer to the race day, I was basically unavailable for at least one day on the weekend. Our kids were in elementary school, and my spouse was great. But damn, I cannot fathom doing that with kids under the age of 5. [/quote] Ditto. The PP touting the family benefits of marathon running is a moron (and must be single and childless). [/quote] +1. I didn't have the energy to respond to first PP's post but it blows my mind that people just don't get it. Standing in a crowd for hours wearing your newborn, corralling the two preschoolers, searching for Mom or Dad as they come over the finish line, so they can go home and rest after their big accomplishment and you can continue taking care of the kids. Fun for the whole family, huh? B*llsh*t. Both my parents did marathons and brought us kids to the races. It was awesome because they shared the experience! One raced, the other watched, then they'd swap. But that's rare. If this is a one-sided gig, it blows. [/quote]
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