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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I like 22:11's response, but I'll add another possible suggestion.  I'm a DW who finds it difficult to mentally transition to sex, which made me dread having all that awkward contact when I wasn't mentally there.  [b]So DH and I spend a few minutes apart from each other to get in the zone[/b].  I put on some lingerie and heels and look at a bit of porn on my tablet, while he's doing whatever he needs to in another room, so when I tell him I'm ready and he comes at me raring to go, it's on.  No more awkwardness.  Maybe you could tell her you read that that helps some women and see if she'd be open to it. [/quote]

She's no longer attracted to you, not because you are you, but because she's in a long term relationship and that's what happens to many, many women. There is a strong culture around the sexual how-tos of getting the guy but not a lot on how to maintain your sex drive once you have him (or her as the case may be).

My point (and why I bolded the above sentence) is that the woman (or whomever has the lower drive) has to decide for herself that sex is important enough to the relationship to work on increasing her own sex drive. Watch sexy movies, read hot books, look at explicit material. Whatever. But SHE has to do it, and it's going to feel weird and forced at first, but I guarantee you, if she takes responsibility for her own desires and finds herself more turned on more often, those rules will soon seem as silly to her as they do to you. [/quote]

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