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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]After a lot of counseling, I've finally decided I need to move beyond this if there is ever any hope of us having any sort of relationship moving forward. I'm not forgetting - and honestly, I'm not forgiving, either - but I need to accept that I simply cannot expect anything better out of these people. [b]They simply aren't capable of proper behavior. It's shameful but it's them, not me.[/b] Too bad for them. [/quote]

You sound so high maintenance and a pain in the fucking ass.  I feel sorry for your ILs.  [/quote]

Wow. You need to lash out at someone who is mourning their mother? You should be ashamed of yourself.[/quote]

Yes, it was extremely high maintenance and a pain in the ass of me to expect that my ILs of 15 years might actually acknowledge the death of my mother.  Which, by the way, one of them still hasn't done almost 13 months later.  I am so high maintenance!  [/quote]

Here's the thing: To YOU, that doesn't seem high maintenance at all. Me? I'm terrible at acknowledging stuff -- I have been carrying a sympathy card around for more than 6 weeks now for the family of a former colleague who died, and I just can't seem to write the darn thing and get it mailed. And if the situation were reversed, I can't imagine I'd pay attention to who acknowledged my mom's death and who didn't. Whatever acknowledgement I received, I'd feel touched, but I just wouldn't be thinking of who was out there who might acknowledge it and keeping track of whether they actually did or not. So to me, that does seem high-maintenance.

If your in-laws think the way you do -- if your MIL would be pissed if her sister died & you didn't send a card or something -- then it's fair to read something into their behavior. But if your in-laws are like me, and wouldn't expect anything from you, then I don't think it's fair to read much into their failure to reciprocate.

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